To My Teenage Son Diagnosed With Autism- I H8 U❣️

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  Yeah, I said it.  I hate you, son- right now, that is. First (petty) things first: you reek.  Whoever coined the term “blossoming” to describe puberty has not experienced an afternoon with you, sans deodorant. Ugh! Is application all that difficult? J.R. you’re like Pigpen, and your dust cloud stinks like Cool Ranch Doritos.  Don’t act like […]

High Times

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According to Justin Bieber, everybody gets high sometimes. Man I love that kid. When your life is up in the air because you are raising a child with special needs, you sometimes feel like as if you’re existing on a completely different plane than everyone else. I vaguely remember that term of geometry, yet it so […]

Getting All Emojinal

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  If you know me, you’re aware that my main news sources consist of Access Hollywood Live, The Hollywood Medium’s Tyler Henry, and someecards.com.  This way, I’m constantly on the pulse of how the other half lives, dies, and has worse Mondays than me. It’s a great escape from the reality of being a bad autism mom.  Another wonderful distraction […]

Bad Autism Mom

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If you haven’t seen Bad Moms, please stop reading this and RUN to your nearest theater.  If you have to arrange a sitter (adding a side of guilt), great! You’ll relate to the characters’ plight even more. This story of three stressed out moms produces one belly laugh after another, so much that I’ll need to see the movie […]

Autism, The Ultimate Father Challenge

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  My son J.R. was diagnosed with autism at age three. On that horrific day I came home and collapsed in bed, crying. I cried myself to sleep, woke the next morning, then repeated the process. For three days. I felt as if I were thrust into The Octogon to face an invisible demon, and Dante […]

Complete. Fools.

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  It isn’t lost on this sign-seeking girl that Autism Awareness Month begins on a day dedicated to pranks. Joke’s on me; I get it- I’m the fool. Twenty-four hours later, the punchline to the gut persists as World Autism Awareness DAY commences. Ha! Over the years I’ve gone from praying for those poor families living with autism, […]

Because of Sadness

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  Once again, thanks to John Lasseter, I’ve left a Disney Pixar film- reeling (pardon the pun). I’ve been crying my eyes out for the past hour and forty-two minutes and I’m not sure if it’s because (a) I could never, EVER, EVER conceive of anything more clever than Inside Out if my life depended […]

Why Me?

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We all have those moments (ok sometimes minutes or hours or days) when we ask ourselves “Why me?”  Sometimes the question comes in the form of “@*%& WHY ME???!!!!!!!” and I totally get that.  My most recent “Why me?” moment? Only my kid would wake up thirty minutes before we were to have our holiday […]

Wait for it…

Peanuts

Last weekend my son J.R. broke his arm in two places.   He lost his footing climbing on the playground, and the result was deformity that looked like a lightning bolt jutting from his elbow down.  Needless to say, I was FREAKING THE FUCK OUT.  I can’t even explain the feeling. It was surreal and disturbing […]

50 Shades of Delay

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In the middle of praying that no amount of technology could track the number of times I’d viewed the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer online, I got to thinking that 1) Universal Studios hadn’t received my audition tape for the role of Anastasia and 2) there are more than a few ways an autism mom can “get off,” […]